Author Topic: To the FEMALES in the house  (Read 16496 times)

Offline Serene

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To the FEMALES in the house
« on: August 17, 2005, 01:57:22 PM »
Question to the women: From your standpoint have you ever received special treatment because of your gender?

For example in a class and they pair all the guys w/guys and the girls w/girls? How does that make you feel? Do you care?

Isn't it more than likely it will be a male that attacks us in the streets? With that being said than why do we feel the need to pair women w/women? 


Soifua,
Sifu Serene Terrazas
Head Instructor
Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

Offline DProsser

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2005, 02:04:40 PM »
It is mixed at my school.  It could be male or female.  It depends who is in class that day.  I can tell you that if it is a female I tell them to be hardcore because I am not backing down. Bring it.

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Deb Prosser
GM Bobby Rimando, Instr.
SGM Alex Rimando
Rimando Martial Arts, Las Vegas, Nv

Offline kadena

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2005, 04:32:31 PM »
Yes, it felt like I received special treatment on two separate occassions at a certain mixed school within the last 2 years. I don't believe it was intentional. I think they just had their "head where the sun don't shine" at the time. I haven't had this problem at any other mixed schools or mixed seminars. I prefer to be treated as just another 'body' when I partner with someone and I prefer to have the opportunity to be able to partner with anyone in the class. Unintentionally denying me that opportunity is annoying; doing it intentionally is disrespectful.
Janette, green belt, Gaylord Method, Seven Star Women's Kung Fu

Offline Serene

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2005, 05:43:58 PM »
Good Afternoon:

Debb - you say it depends on who is in class? Depends who is teaching or who the students are? Can you please be a little bit more specific.

Also, are you saying you don't see a problem when they pair you up with another female vs a male student? You just tell the female how you want to train?

Kadena - Yes, we have all experienced these times. However, very few have ever spoken-good for you. Our art is a "Man Arts" and we can train with the best but we also have to be good stable mates and not want to be treated different and remember we are training for the streets. When
in the dojo if you want to be treated as equals than we have to step up our game. It's not about talking its about training.

Remember fight your fight not the fight that they think we should be fighting.



Soifua,
« Last Edit: August 17, 2005, 06:16:05 PM by Kajushodan »
Sifu Serene Terrazas
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Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

juribe

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #4 on: August 18, 2005, 01:23:15 AM »
Question to the women: From your standpoint have you ever received special treatment because of your gender?

Not sure if it would be considered "special" treatment but it is obvious to me that some men find it hard to do certain things  (mainly strikes and kicks) to me and other females but then again, these same men make the self defense techniques and grappling very challenging; that is, they do not make it easy for me because of my size or gender. But I'd like to be clear that this is not a school policy, but a personal thing for some of the men. I am about ~125 and the men I've recently been training with recently range from about 175-200+.  My main instructor is relatively small (~155) and regularly grapples and submit guys who weigh up to 100 more pounds than he does. He tells me it's all about the technique and someday I hope I'm that good  ;)

For example in a class and they pair all the guys w/guys and the girls w/girls? How does that make you feel? Do you care?

This is not how we are paired or grouped at our school. We are usually paired or grouped by rank, regardless of size and/or gender. Because there is one other woman of my same rank and about the same size, we are often paired together or with men of similar rank.

Isn't it more than likely it will be a male that attacks us in the streets? With that being said than why do we feel the need to pair women w/women?

The only two times in my life I've actually been physically attacked, both attackers were women.

Additionally, a telling story from one of our male black belts who worked many years as a bouncer: He's been hit in the head with glass objects (beer bottles and beer pitchers) four separate times--all by women.

It's a different type of attack than I would expect from a man [no intent to rape]. Although I think women should be prepared to defend ourselves against larger, male attackers, we have to be prepared for attackers of both genders. Both times I've had to defend myself against women attackers (both years ago, before martial arts was even a gleam in my eye), I knew that the attacker was an angry person and the intent was not to rape but to brawl, hurt, maim, whatever...At our school, we do lots of grappling, often with much larger, male opponents. My hope is that the grappling training will help defend against a male attacker who intends to rape.

On a related note, I'm interested in defense techniques for "ponytail" or hair grabs, a common thing seen in "girlfights." Anybody do those?

Offline cirillo

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #5 on: August 18, 2005, 11:39:32 AM »

On a related note, I'm interested in defense techniques for "ponytail" or hair grabs, a common thing seen in "girlfights." Anybody do those?


I have always liked the ponytail defense.... with one hand pin your own hair to your head as far out on the ponytail as possible, rotate 180 to face (while holding own hair/head), follow up however you like (kick to groin/knee/instep works or use other hand to strike face with simultaneous kicks).  I taught this to my daughter (without the followup, just some harsh words... more appropriate for kids) who is 7 and she has already applied it several times.  Boys don't tend to try it on her anymore, but she does now have eyes in the back of her head. ;D

By the way, the hair pinning to head can be applied in any situation.  The rotation of the head changes the direction of the hair pulling force making it less effective and can be applied free flowing from the ground or in an all out fight.  The negative is that one of your hands gets tied up countering the pull.  Consider just turning into the pull (not away) and directly attacking while ignoring the pain instead, possibly more effective. 8)
« Last Edit: August 18, 2005, 11:45:52 AM by cirillo »
Sifu Jeffrey D. Cirillo,  7th Degree Black belt in Wun Hop Kuen Do under GM Al Dacascos and 3rd Degree in FaChuan (Blossom Fist) under Sifu Bill Owens with over 35 years experience in the martial arts.
College Station, TX

Offline Serene

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2005, 11:53:10 AM »
Hi Jackie -

I agree w/Sifu Chirs its all in the technique. Never forget our techniques where made for the little guys to defend against the bigger ones.

Once upon a time I thought rank had something to do with who I trained with. However, in the last year I have realized that rank really is just a symbol of how much time spent. Some of the best training partners have been color belts. I have been dropped by students under 6 mos of training and I have hit them back in the same manner it was given to me. It all depends on how we choose to train. 

Two factors where rank is used is when we line up and when we are distributing belt requirements. However, we can train with whoever. It also gives us a time to work with different people, attitudes, stregths and sizes. If we always train with the same people we become accostomed to them.

As females we should take the opportunity to train with those that are stronger because you will be able to see if it will really works. Most guys if you tell them to really grab you they will and let them know that you want to see if you can truly get out. Trust me they are more than willing to grab or punch you hard too. ;) They will let you know if that hurts I mean works. ;)

Pulling hair - YIKES! GM Davis has taught a jujitsu grab from this. When they grab from the front take your left hand and grab their right into a lock. From the back grab with your left to their right hand and bring them around to the front in a wrist lock. While they are in the wrist lock you can control them or break their wrist. I personally would break the wrist. :D I hate having my hair pulled. >:(

Soifua,



 

Sifu Serene Terrazas
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Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

Offline DProsser

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2005, 12:52:06 PM »
It depends on the students who are in class, my instructor normally lines us up by belts and size not so much male or female.  If we are ask to do a one step or technique we are given the opportunity to choose who we want to demonstrate it on.  I like having a choice.  There is another female in my class who is the same belt that I am, but I like to pick on  ;) a male green belt or one of two larger men black belts.  I am pretty intense in training and most of my classmates know how I am and go all out as well.

I prefer working with a male partner because the females that i have encountered so far are not as intense.  I don't want them to hold back. 
Deb Prosser
GM Bobby Rimando, Instr.
SGM Alex Rimando
Rimando Martial Arts, Las Vegas, Nv

Offline Serene

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2005, 05:50:05 PM »
Thanks Deb for your post, now that brings me to another question. :D

How many of you think that our own gender is not intense enough? What suggestions would you give to those that were lacking the intensity? What makes it intense for you?

Soifua,
Sifu Serene Terrazas
Head Instructor
Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

Offline KajuJKDFighter

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2005, 06:44:03 PM »
Gals are meaner...enough said.........seen if many times
GM John E Bono DC
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Offline Serene

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #10 on: August 18, 2005, 06:49:58 PM »
True - most women have a HIGH tolerance for pain.

Those that have children know exactly what I'm talking about - OUCH. ;)

Sifu Serene Terrazas
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Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

Offline KajuJKDFighter

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #11 on: August 18, 2005, 06:51:59 PM »
Ouch........
GM John E Bono DC
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Offline kadena

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #12 on: August 18, 2005, 06:56:56 PM »
I think of being able to display intensity as a comfort issue rather than a gender issue. I equate 'intensity' with being verbally and/or physically aggressive. Many women I know aren't initially comfortable with being either of these things in a martial arts training environment. They eventually get the hang of it if they stick around long enough. I find it much easier to deal with an aggressive attacker in class when they're giving off "clean" energy as opposed to "negative" energy with a whole lot of emotional baggage attached.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2005, 07:05:59 PM by kadena »
Janette, green belt, Gaylord Method, Seven Star Women's Kung Fu

Offline KajuJKDFighter

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #13 on: August 18, 2005, 07:24:08 PM »
I've watched alot of kickboxing male and female and more often then not the women's fights are the toughest and most aggressive.  Intensity can be focus, here's the definition;   Exceptionally great concentration, power, or force.
2. Physics The amount or degree of strength of electricity, light, heat, or sound per unit area or volume.
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Full Instructor-Hartsell's Jeet Kune Do Grappling Assoc
Chief Instructor Bono's Jeet Kune Do/Kajukenbo
Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them a desire,a dream,a vision

juribe

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Re: To the FEMALES in the house
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2005, 06:18:27 PM »
I think of being able to display intensity as a comfort issue rather than a gender issue. I equate 'intensity' with being verbally and/or physically aggressive. Many women I know aren't initially comfortable with being either of these things in a martial arts training environment....

I tend to agree with this from what I've seen at my own school. For lack of better term, I call it "the killer instinct," some have it, some don't, and some learn it over time. Agree that for many women, including me, this takes lots of time to develop. Although I've always done sports and been aggressive in terms of competition, it was hard for me to learn to "hurt" others, even 200+ guys, in class. Women are taught ("brainwashed"?) their entire lives to "be nice" and "play fair." These are things that do not and should not come into play when defending yourself or your loved ones. One of my instructors believes that my lifelong sport-aggressive attitude is making it hard for me to "relax" and "flow," when I need to, during certain drills for example. I admit I am NOT a relaxed person and think this (learning to be relaxed and flow) may be harder to learn than being aggressive towards others  ;)

Personally, my instructor, when he works with me, has gradually, without explicitly telling me, been making hits, grabs harder and more painful and I'm fine with it. I know this needs to happen as I become more experienced.

Sigung Bono, your definition of physics directly relates to my experience in sports, esp. mountain biking: It's not size that matters, but ratio of size to strength. I'm small but strong, therefore more easily able to move myself and my bike up the side of some crazy, rocky trail than some of of my male mountain biking partners who are bigger and more muscular.

Serene, when we're grouped by rank, it's usually because we are all working on the same curriculum and so it's logical to to group us, depending on what we're working on. But, I am often the only color belt in advanced class with 2 or 3 large male black belts, and that works too. We all have our strengths and weaknesses (now speaking metaphorically)... 8)

In short, I don't think that our school unfairly groups students--it's usually by rank and/or ability. If I happen to be in a class with lower belts or new students (because that's all who showed up), I can still work my techniques, especially my control and my flow.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2005, 06:22:12 PM by J. Uribe »