Lessons or ego?

[sigungjoe]

After visiting with GrandMaster Ted Sotelo tonight a few questions poped into my head that might be interesting in the forum.
1. What do you as a student do when your instructor gets an ego because of his promotion?
2. And what do you do when he becomes controling, even to the point of becoming physical (hitting you or hurting you while sparring or showing techniques) if he doesnt like the direction your going?
Sometimes Ive heard that instructors do this and say that its a lesson for the student to figure out. And that they have good reasons to do this. Is there ever a good reason?

as you can see it was an interesting night of conversation.

Joe

[Mitch Powell]

1. I'd say wait it out and see if time adjusts the problem. If the person is not normally an ego person they may just be having a problem accepting their new role. If they have had issues with their ego in the past, they may need a humbling experience to balance it out.

Personally, I've always found promtions a humbling experience because I associate promotions with having to hold myself to a higher standard and not wanting to fail.

2. If this was the first time the teacher ever hit intentionaly, then they may have just been acting out due to anger, frustration or other emotions. How well do you know the person? Is this normal for them? A one time deal, out of frustration, I'd let that go.

If this is the way the person is, and you still elect to train with them, then accept the hitting as part of your training or knock them on their asp and go from there.

Now, accidents do happen. I was helping one of the students a few weeks ago with sparring techniques and punched them in the eye. It wouldn't have been a problem, but I didn't have any hand pads on, so the eye closed immediately.

I believe the student knew the hit was not intentional, but if they think too much into it, they may wonder if it was a lesson?

Do some teachers treat students like that? Yes, they do. I know one teacher in particular. He treats all his students that way. I watched him slap one student across the face for not paying attention while he was talking to the class. He routinely blasts them.

I have little respect for this person because of their actions. On the other hand, the students that stay with him can take anything and are very good at their art. It's a double edge sword.

[Chief Instructor]

Professor Powell,

I like your statement, "Personally, I've always found promtions a humbling experience because I associate promotions with having to hold myself to a higher standard and not wanting to fail." I hope all the newer students learn from it as it took me over 10 years to realize how humbling it is to be honored with higher rank and the responsibilities that come with it.

Respectfully,

[Kempo-Sensei]

I recently closed my school so I don't have to deal with this anymore, but I did have one black belt who was constantly "proving" his abilities on the students.  I would constantly give lessons about not doing this, but he would always do his own thing.

What I did, which might not have been the best option, was to hit him hard on a few occassions.  This would calm him for a little while, but before long he'd be back into his role again.

Now if he was my instructor and could kick the you-know-what out me.....  I don't know.  I'm guessing I would wait it out for a while, but if it didn't change, I would probably try to respectfully talk about it with him (or her).  But as we know, some people don't like those types of talks.

Fortunately for my students, they had the option of not training during his class times.  They would just attend mine, so the problem was solved for them.

[Serene]

Intesting subject Sigung.

Yes, I was the one that got hit in the eye by Prof. Oh yeah it hurt.  :(Oh yeah I hated him. But now I'm okay.  

So for those of you who have been whacked by your instructor. It makes you wonder was it on purpose or and oops my bad shot.

I felt after Prof. whacked me that I wanted to whack him back as any normal Samoan would have wanted. But fortunately I gained my senses and realized that he would never ever hurt me.  :)I felt that Prof. felt worse for me than I did about him whacking me.

It's scary to be hit to the point of being knocked out. However, the loyalty between the student and instructor are crucial. I believe and trust in my instructors as they do me.

Egos I believe we don't have that in our school. Everyone is cool and if you get out of line you are verbally checked.


Soifua,

[Serene]

Oh I almost fogot.  

The most important lesson of them all.  :DBecause I got whacked in the eye, when I fought on Saturday it made me remember to keep my hands up.  

Prior to getting hit the eye I would always drop my hands. So, alls well that ends well.  

Soifua,

[Chief Instructor]

Thank you sir! May I have another?

Years ago, my chief instructor loved to demonstrate on his favorite students. Unfortunately, I was used a lot and he blasted me. I tried to stand behind someone to avoid this but that did not always work.

One night after he finished a self-defense combination and hit me especially hard, I started laughing uncontrollably. Everyone stared at me horrified but I couldn't help it.  My instructor smiled because we both knew that I reached the point in my mind where I was able to shut off the pain.

Since then my focus for forms and meditation is a lot better. The next time I'm in my home town, I'll have to thank him again.

[Mell]

There is a difference between learning to accept a degree of pain and being treated disrespectfully.

Am I grateful I train with someone who is better than me.  Sifu does not have to prove it by hurting me or making me feel inadequate.  He can show me by exercising focused control that comes from being mature.  I find myself fequently thanking him for not blasting me with a techinque when I accidentally "step into it" because my skill level is not as good as his.  That is how you teach someone.

If you are training with someone who has something to prove, move on to another school.  Let someone else be his/her punching bag.