Author Topic: Have you ever thought of......  (Read 6414 times)

Offline Serene

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Have you ever thought of......
« on: December 31, 2003, 03:35:41 PM »
I have wondered of voluteering my time at a battered women's shelter by sharing self defense techniques or a self esteem workshop.  ;D

Has that thought ever crossed your mind?  Maybe you are already doing this? ::)

It's funny the things that go through ones head once they become a black belt.  ;) ;D

Soifua,
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Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

Offline Mell

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2004, 10:17:43 PM »
I have a Christian Pantomime Ministry and just wanted to say one thing about working at battered women's shelters etc....

It is a great idea, but there is one word of caution I have learned through my drama ministry:  If you are going to teach in that type of an enviroment, you need to be prepared for the extreme flood of emotions that will be put upon you as women want to share there experiences with you and seek advise from you.  
Sibak Mellody Porter
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Offline Robin

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2004, 05:08:19 PM »
I think that would be quite noble of you to volunteer your time in that way.  
 I agree with Mell in the fact that you would be in a highly charged emotional setting, though.    Families experiencing domestic violence are in such an unbalanced state of mind and Spirit.  It's quite a complicated situation.    Self esteem is critical for recovering and making positive life changes.  Visit with a  Director of a shelter and see what their thoughts might be on it !



I have wondered of voluteering my time at a battered women's shelter by sharing self defense techniques or a self esteem workshop.  ;D


Offline empty minded

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2004, 11:44:32 AM »
Seriously. If you decide to try it, I would be a willing dummy.  I have 20 years experience between ER and psych crisis and have finished some of my work for a masters in counseling psychology.  I would be willing to help you in anyway I can.  Kimmie
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Offline Jon Pack

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2004, 12:00:33 PM »
As an instructor you can always tell the students who have been through tough situations like this. They are more no nonsense about their training and less social oriented. It is the same in a cpr class, you can always tell if someone has been in a real life situation, they are much more emotional and intense. I agree that you have a great idea here and also that there should be professionals there to help with a wide range of reactions. It is interesting that training is somewhat of an individual activity but somewhere along the line you focus on how your able to build up/help others acheive some level of confidence, self reliance...or one of any number of things that it has brought out in you.
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Offline Serene

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #5 on: February 02, 2004, 02:05:40 PM »
Good Morning:

Good points by everyone.  :)

Yes, thats a given that emotions would be high. Most just need someone to listen or speak too.  

Prior to showing actucal techniques it is important to see where one is mentally. I am sure that I will need to develop trust before anything.

I am positive that I can only help those that seek asssitance.

My intentions are simple, I just want to help.  

Soifua,

Kim and Sibak THANK YOU for your assistance.  ;D You two will be the first I call.


Sifu Serene Terrazas
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Terrazas Kajukenbo
American Canyon, Ca.

Sifu George

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2004, 03:14:41 AM »
I actually do help out with a battered women's shelter. I have found that it is one of the coolest things that I have ever done in my life.
At first I wasn't sure if it was something that I wanted to do, but after talking to my wife about what she went through as an abused woman, handed out to her by an ex., I felt that maybe I should do something to help out.
Now, I knew it might be in an emotionally charged situation when I started, and let it be know, I'm not good with excited/crying women, but it was similar to dealing with my tiny tiger class. Listen to them, explain to them that what you are about to teach them is going to give them back the power that was taken from them, then get down to the business of teaching them Kajukenbo.
The changes that take place in each and everyone of these women happens in the blink of an eye. Because let's face it, the best student is going to be the one who's been getting the crap beat out of them on  a regular basis. And I mean beat down. They want it to stop.
This beating has made these woman tough. The kind of toughness it would take me months, even years to enstill into a walk-in student.
As to the question of what to teach them, well, I teach them how to react, proper punching technique, proper kicking technique, chops, rips and pokes to the vital areas. In other words, I teach them how to Fook some body up fast, then run. But there is a limit to what I teach. I don't teach them forms and there is a 3 month time limit. Because I teach and drill into them these empowering techniques, they can leave walking less afraid, serious confidence and with their heads held high.

If I had a word of advise to you who might be thinking about doing this good thing, it would be....Don't get wrapped up in their problems. It's a hard thing to do because like me, you'll want to listen to everyones story but you just can't. There are way to many of them.(I teach anywhere from 20 to 25 women at any given time); I found because I listened to many stories, I started having dreams about their ordeals.

Anyway, I hope this helps.



Offline Brandi Ross

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2004, 02:06:29 PM »
Kajushodan

Your ideas are great.  Sifu George has a lot of good things to say.  Sifu, sorry to hear that you ended up with dreams.  I hope that has gotten better.

Being interested in helping is wonderful.  Just remember to divide the line and make sure you are there to instruct, not act as a counselor (unless you're certificated or qualified)  that way you are protecting yourself as well.  To teach the basics maybe enough to raise their confidence levels and to get them back on their feet.  It's a new start for them.

I know a lady here in Kona who was being verbally abused and sometimes phsically abused.  She started going to a women's self defense class and built up her confidence.  I guess a couple of weeks ago, he tried to attack her and she struck back.  He is no longer living with her and the children.  She's getting to start a new life for her and her children.  She's way happier now.  See, even the smallest of steps can help one to free oneself from trouble.

Good luck with the program.  If I ever visit, I would love to help.

Aloha,
brandi
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Offline Mell

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #8 on: February 13, 2004, 08:52:07 PM »
I think it is also important to teach women to be aware of their surrondings.  I'm not saying that we need to walk around as if bad people are lurking in the shadows, but to know what is around you as preparation if sudden decisions need to be made.  (I believe) - Women who walk with confidence are less likely to be victims of crime.
Sibak Mellody Porter
ANDERSON MARTIAL ARTS - Grafton, Ohio
www.ohiokajukenbo.com
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Offline Mell

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2004, 10:48:31 PM »
It is only applicable in the respect that the original question asked about teaching self defense at a battered womens shelter.  If you believe that understanding your surrounding is important to defense, then it would apply.

When I first learned to drive, the man who taught me constantly asked me "What is behind you?  Are there any cars beside you?  How far way are they?"  Because I am always looking for those things now, I believe that if I have to make a quick decision to avoid an accident, I would be better prepared to decided if slamming my breaks or swerving to another lane would be the best option.

In respect of walking with confidience, it simply means looking up when you are walking, not looking down at the ground so you can not see if someone is approaching you.  My vision needs to be level (Not to say that all attacks happen from a standing position)

Hope that makes sense in clarifying my statement.  You are correct that it will not help in every situation, nothing can fix or help every thing.  Its just a tool/resource.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2004, 10:50:33 PM by Mell »
Sibak Mellody Porter
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www.ohiokajukenbo.com
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Offline Mell

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Re:Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2004, 11:01:06 PM »
On a side note:

Taken from a pamphlet from the Ocsan Rape Crisis Center:

- The National Coalition on Sexual Assault published a study that assailants pick vulnerable, unaware victims.  A women's preparedness can help her to overcome her attacker -

Sorry, no address or website information but their number was listed on the pamphlet is anyone wants it, just email me and I'll give it to you.
Sibak Mellody Porter
ANDERSON MARTIAL ARTS - Grafton, Ohio
www.ohiokajukenbo.com
www.watchthelamb.com

Offline rockatear

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Re: Have you ever thought of......
« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2005, 01:59:44 AM »
I have wondered of voluteering my time at a battered women's shelter by sharing self defense techniques or a self esteem workshop.  ;D

Has that thought ever crossed your mind?  Maybe you are already doing this? ::)

It's funny the things that go through ones head once they become a black belt.  ;) ;D

Soifua,

Kajushodan,

I don't know where you are on this matter as there is no date on the post and indicates it's one of the many posts I've not read yet.  However, if you are still interested you can call 1-888-215-5555 (or 1-866-215-5555---try the 888 first :-\).  It is the Domestic Violence hotline and they can put you in contact with whomever you need to speak with about volunteering your time, knowledge and skills.  DV Shelters vary in that some clients have just arrived and others have been there awhile and have enough distance to be able to take the steps to actually train in some type of self-defense.  Even so, they also have clients who participate only in outside support groups and those women would probably be even more receptive to risk such training.  As to the self-esteem, I imagine that it would be integrated with the self-defense training unless you have experience in presenting self-esteem seminars/training, etc. separate from self-defense.  Additionally, I would guess that DV agencies would probably have a counselor on hand if you were to do the self-defense training just in case somebody really wigs out.

Domestic Violence agencies/shelters are always, always looking for volunteers and most receptive to ideas that can help empower their clients.  Should you be allowed to do this, I guarantee the same feelings of love, purposefulness, pride, gratitude that you feel when you see your regular martial arts students progress will appear when working with DV survivors.  It is a much needed resource and so few, like yourself, are willing to volunteer their time.  And as usual, most agencies that help those in need are non-profits.  Then again you did say volunteer :).

I hope, if this is one of your endeavors that you get to make it so.  If there is anyway I can further assist you, please let me know.  I do know the Director of Safequest that runs the Domestic Violence/Sexual Assault agency in the Solano County area.  Feel free to email me...

Or, you may have already begun this journey and started your classes and if so I am grateful we have another warrior in this particular arena.

Respectfully,
Shirley Phelps, blue blelt, Hand to Hand Kajukenbo Self-Defense Center, Oakland, CA, www.handtohandkajukenbo.com, Gaylord Method, Chief Head Instructors:  Sifus Jen Resnick and Sonya Richardson